The thing about dirt is that it is.

Dirt. When you’re planting raspberries, you want some, and with geraniums too, and maybe lilacs. Petunias. You get the point. The other thing about dirt is that it’s dirty and everywhere. Under your fingernails. Little clumps stuck in your armpit hair — tiny meatballs of dust, lint, deodorant and sweat. Dirt just lives. In yer belly button. Netherplaces. Between yer toes. Your BarcaLounger.

An early-years HSN cleaning product proudly claimed: “Cleans Everything But a Dirty Mind.”

How clean can a dirty mind get? How dirty can a clean mind be? (...