My wife, Jamie, loves to put her fall decorations out at the first sign of autumn. A couple of cold mornings triggers her to journey to the recesses of our basement in search of her stash of scarecrows and pumpkins, just as the first snow of the year signals all her snowmen to report for duty.

Noticeably missing in her bin this year was a bundle of cattails we’ve had for years. Our black lab, Mogli, ripped them to shreds at the height of his “puppy chews everything phase” last September. I know I’m going to have to replace them in the end, but I’m not volunteering anytime soon.

Out of the corn...