On Faith: Find a good place for your emotions

I'm hearing people are having all the emotions. Are you hearing this as well? Maybe more importantly, are you experiencing this? Several weeks ago, I read about the rise in airline incidents with unruly passengers and an increase of incidents with patrons at restaurants. The article went on to quote a noted psychologist who said the collective anxiety and grief we experienced these last two years has created a perfect storm for negative emotions to come forth, often unfiltered.

So this is happening. But what do you do when you live in a region and state where "Nice" isn't just a word, but a way of life? As a pastor, I've often come into situations where people are reluctant to name how they are feeling, especially when the emotion seems negative or "angry."

Yet anger is not only one of the major feelings accompanying a loss or major change, such as a hospitalization; it is also a gift of our Creation and a part of who we are as humans.

It's all about being a human being - even people of faith - and finding a place for our emotions, especially anger.

Our first step, like many first steps, is to accept anger without it being a "bad" emotion. Like the sensations of hot or cold, anger is our emotional system getting a reading from the world around us. While not a physical sensation, anger is still giving our physical system a "jolt" to pay attention and respond.

Our second step in accepting anger is to recognize what triggers your anger. In the Christian tradition, I have often heard quoted a Bible verse that suggests we are to "Be angry but do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger" (Eph. 4:26). In the past, this was offered as a reason to not be angry, yet it is really inviting us to "work it out." It is okay to be angry, but know why we are angry so the anger can focus us in the right direction.

Our third step in working well with anger is to consider what it is telling us, and reacting to it appropriately. Going back to the idea that anger is like a physical sensation, feeling a hot thing tells our brain to move our hand and/or take subsequent actions to be free from the heat. Anger also carries a message and gives us an opportunity to understand what we need, hopefully leading to our immediate focus on communicating clearly what is necessary to end our "anger" cycle.

The next step in using anger for our good is to be very clear in sharing our message. We are not to focus upon telling others what they need to think, do, or modify. Instead, we focus on our own feelings (often called "giving a witness") so that we can invite others to stand with us without being upset.

No matter how others choose to respond, we can trust in ourselves by using anger as a helpful emotion and recognizing it is a gift of our humanity. With the recognition that anger is one of many tools, we hopefully can also be ready when anger shows itself in expected and unexpected places. As Minnesota Nice people, we can be gentle, wise, forgiving and grace-filled. This isn't specific to our creed, climate or custom. It's just a choice we have every day.

Pastor Brian serves United Methodist congregations at Northwood in Esko, above, in an artist's depiction, and in Norton Park in Duluth.