Rodd's Ramblings: Walking habit means bad ribs
April 24, 2020
Apparently I should have been a comedy writer. After last week’s column I’ve been inundated with comments from people who said they got a kick out of me describing the daily walks my wife and I take. Some of the comments even came while I was out walking this week.
Some of them are quite humorous.
One of the first comments I heard was how could I dare refer to my wife as “wife No. 1” without her getting mad? Well, that is easy to answer. She says she won’t get mad unless there becomes a “wife No. 2.” It is simple math. I’ve been married to only her, so she is “No. 1.”
The day after the column appeared I was taking the daily walk after work, this time by myself. My wife had far more important things to do such as a puzzle or twiddling her thumbs. She had taken a walk earlier with neighbor Tina, who (like most women I know) walks at a pace that allows them to get an actual workout in. They walked nearly three miles, which surpasses the four blocks I usually walk.
By the time I went out, it was snowing and windy and she felt I was “big enough” to go it alone as long as I followed her directions of walking on the correct side of the road, watched for dogs, avoided other people and didn’t talk to strangers.
A few blocks into the walk I heard some yelling behind me. It was Mel Korby, standing on the steps of his house. Mel said he read the article and I needed to pick up the pace a bit.
“You don’t see her out here, do you?” I said.
“She’s already gone by three times,” he said.
Our normal walk usually takes about 15 to 25 minutes, depending on if we are walking at my pace or her pace. On the final block I ran into my neighbor Lance, who was outside his garage kind of snickering at me as I shuffled by. He asked if I wanted a beer. I had to think about this. I went back to the rules my wife had relayed to me before I left, and at no time did she say anything about me stopping and having a beer with a buddy. So I made the executive decision to stop and have a brew in his garage.
An hour later, after having just one beer (if you believe that), I headed back home. Imagine my surprise when my boss, err, wife, asked “How far did you walk and what took so long?” For most men, that sets off an alarm or dilemma: A. She already knows what you’ve been up to; or B. She will find out eventually, so you might as well come clean now.
I came clean. Imagine my surprise when she said “I hope you had a good time.” Either somebody slipped her a happy pill or I just got lucky.
I also received a couple of text messages regarding the column. The first one I received was from former Esko coaches Sean and Sue Northey. They got a kick out of the column but differed in their opinions as to how honest I had been. They wanted me to settle a bet. Without a doubt, the article was 100-percent true. Everything was on point and about as factual as anything I’ve ever written. It’s up to each reader to determine what that exactly means.
Former Cloquet hockey great Rick Wahtera also sent me a text saying he and his wife got a kick out of the column.
On Monday my wife and I were walking our usual route — apparently she felt she couldn’t trust me enough to let me out on my own again. As we rounded a curve in the road an SUV pulled up and a window opened. Inside was former Esko athlete Jeff Lindstrom, who proceeded to mock my walking ability and essentially tell me how lucky I was to still be married after the article appeared. Harumph.
I even got feedback from work, where one woman in my office at WKLK told me I was absolutely spot on when it came to describing how men walk slow and women want to take off and go. Here’s what Amy told me: “You were right. Men don’t move at all, and basically there is no reason to walk if they don’t learn to pick up the pace.”
It’s doubtful my walking habits will change. At least I am out there trudging away and trying, which is far more than I used to do. I also think that if I had the incentive of finding a beer at the end of the rainbow (think Lance’s garage) that I just might walk a bit faster and more often.
WKLK radio personality Kerry Rodd writes sports for the Pine Knot News.