Harry's Gang: Some tips on both sides of now-vital food delivery

Now that dining rooms are closed due to the state shutdown order, many restaurants are shifting to takeout and delivery. As a guy who spent the last 25 years delivering pizza and sandwiches — first in Two Harbors and then in Esko — I have some tips for both restaurant managers and customers.

First, everyone, please be patient. Most restaurants are experimenting with delivery, and they don’t have the years of experience that some places have in delivering their product. It’s great that patrons want to support their favorite eateries during the pandemic, but understand that your “experience” may be different than you are used to. Customers, please be willing to be flexible as restaurants deal with the abnormally large numbers of takeout orders and as they work out delivery kinks.

Second, customers: turn your porch lights on. Your address may be easy to find if you’re a letter carrier. But food drivers need something more recognizable. List your address, and maybe an identifiable landmark: “the driveway with the huge camper in it” or “the house with all the toys in the yard.” Out in the country, fire numbers make delivery a snap. In the neighborhoods, though, it’s nearly impossible to see house numbers posted on your porch, especially at night. And if your house number is attached to only the mailbox, how is a delivery driver supposed to find you? Shovel your steps and sidewalks. And bring in your dogs: no matter that your dog will be the one that “never bites anyone,” remember that the kid delivering food has a bag of yummy burgers or delicious pizza and your perfect dog may not be able to resist. Keep them inside.

Oh, and have your order ready when you call. It’s frustrating for a busy restaurant to have to read the menu to you over the phone as you repeat it back to your family to let them decide what they want. A few questions are normal — reciting the entire menu is unfair. Read the menu online first.

If you plan to take a job delivering food this season, remember that most accidents occur at intersections. This I have learned as both a delivery restaurant owner and as a personal injury attorney. Come to a complete stop at the intersection, and remember that some intersections (usually in deep residential areas) are uncontrolled, which means you may crash into another delivery driver who didn’t realize none of the intersections have a stop sign. Don’t let your need to get the delivery to the customer as fast as possible tempt you to “slow and go.” If you get into an accident, the customer won’t get their food at all. Come to a complete stop at intersections.

There are a few subtle hints that would probably never occur to you unless you’ve been delivering for years. For example, most delivery drivers place their food on the passenger seat. But car seats slope backwards, which means if you place a pizza on the car seat and take off, the cheese will slide to the back of the box. So, put something in the seat, like a sweater or a soda bottle, so it’s level. You might think that a little slope may not affect a burger and fries, but you’d be wrong. No one wants their food to arrive in a box all squished to one side.

To restaurant owners who are new to the delivery game, take a tip from me: it’s OK to bend the delivery boundaries when appropriate. If you offer delivery within a 5-mile radius, don’t turn down a delivery that’s 6 or 7 miles away, unless you are just too swamped to take it — and then tell the customer that’s why. The customer will appreciate it and will tip accordingly. Also, try to be realistic with your delivery times: customers want their food as fast as possible. But if it’s going to be an hour, say so. The customer will either understand, or will call some other time. Nothing irritates a delivery customer more than being told, “It’ll be there in 30 minutes” when it actually takes an hour.

And I’ll take this opportunity to complain about delivery fees. Why, exactly, do you need to charge extra for delivery? You’re selling the food at the same menu price, but you don’t have to buy dishes (or wash them); you don’t need to heat your dining room; you don’t need as many servers, bussers, hosts or janitors. In my opinion, takeout should be discounted, and delivery should be free. But maybe that’s just the bleeding-heart liberal in me.

Pete Radosevich is the publisher of the Pine Knot News and an attorney in Esko who will host the talk show Harry’s Gang on CAT-7 again soon. His opinions are his own. Contact him at [email protected].